i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
