People in love make me want to vomit
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize