You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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