I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
