someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
