Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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