yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
