I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
