mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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