so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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