There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize