I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
