hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
