i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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