guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize