This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
