I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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