i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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