So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
