I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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