Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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