dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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