in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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