Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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