:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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