Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
