This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
