I didn't shave. On purpose
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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