she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
