I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my being single is dangerous.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
