And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
well you can't waste a boner
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
