Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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