im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
