Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Randomize
