i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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