Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize