TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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