So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
