It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
