Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
