distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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