yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
