I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
