i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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