It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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