we're blogging at a bar
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
