their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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