Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize