Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
