On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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