it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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