I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
