some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
