You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Can i not drive my cunt home
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
why do cheetos always look like penises
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Randomize
