Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
