The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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