I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
