I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
