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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.

  (818): View more from California

  Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?

  (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation

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• (817): View more from Texas

  She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.

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• (+48): View more from Poland

  We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am naked and annoyed.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair

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