Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.

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(802): View more from Vermont

you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin

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(303): View more from Colorado

You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie

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(206): View more from Washington

You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.

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