Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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