Are we in a gay sports bar?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
